I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
