I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
