His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
