let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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