then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
