Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
