I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
