you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize