Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
