i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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