so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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