She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
