If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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