He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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