her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
