There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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