Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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