You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You dont lie about slip and slides
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
