I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
