like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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