dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
