You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
