Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
