I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
