i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
