Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am naked and annoyed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
