"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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