ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
