she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I want to fling myself into the sun
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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