she was so not down for the gang bang
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
