Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
