if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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