that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
