Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
