but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Randomize
