is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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