Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
