Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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