Her vagina should come with caution tape.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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