just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
