shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize