I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
