so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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