Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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