I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
