we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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