There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
