in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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