Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
