And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
