is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
