i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
